The Mystery of the Six Thatchers
by LopezAnnaC
Summary: "I'd taken Sherlock out Christmas shopping which, looking back, wasn't the best of ideas. He'd shouted at a Father Christmas that he was bored and wanted a nice juicy murder for Christmas – in front of a bunch of kids and their parents. Escorted back to the flat by the police, we found a student, Sally Barnicot, waiting for us." A series of correspondence.


By Anna Catherine Lopez

Disclaimer: I do not own this show nor these characters.

Acknowledgements: Much gratitude to Handful of Silence for inspiring this format.

* * *

**"I'd taken Sherlock out Christmas shopping which, looking back, wasn't the best of ideas. He'd shouted at a Father Christmas that he was bored and wanted a nice juicy murder for Christmas – in front of a bunch of kids and their parents. Escorted back to the flat by the police, we found a student, Sally Barnicot, waiting for us."**

**A series of correspondence following the events of ****_The Adventure of the Speckled Blonde_****.**

* * *

From: MH  
To: SH  
Subject: Proper public etiquette.

_It has come to my attention, dear brother, that you have been deliberately antagonizing none other than Jolly Old Saint Nicholas. Doesn't your beloved Doctor Watson deserve at least one outing not ending with the summoning of local law enforcement?_

From: SH  
To: MH  
Subject: Piss off.

From: MH  
To: SH  
Subject: Hostility is not becoming.

_Trouble in paradise?_

From: SH  
To: MH  
Subject: Your face is not becoming.

_It is none of your business, and I'd prefer if you kept your excessively large nose out of my personal life._

From: MH  
To: SH  
Subject: You would know.

_So that's a yes, then._

* * *

Message received  
From: John W.

_Hey Greg – Sorry again about today. Did you happen to find anything on that Beppo Rovito guy?_

Message sent  
To: John W.

_The victim's boyfriend? He was found standing over the body, claimed he'd just discovered him, etc. No knife or anything, so we had to let him go. Smarmy git._

Message sent  
To: John W.

_And don't worry about it, mate. Gotta say, in all my years working with him I've never seen Sherlock so… raving._

Message sent  
To: John W.

_Not at a crime scene, anyway._

Message received  
From: John W.

_Trust me, it's not just at crime scenes._

Message sent  
To: John W.

_Pub tonight? Donovan's been giving me an earful all morning._

Message received  
From: John W.

_I'll be there._

* * *

Search History/Recently Visited:

GOOGLE burglaries university london

BBC NEWS – Crime Spree At Top London University

GOOGLE pietro vanucci artist

Pietro Vanucci | artist | Hickman Gallery

GOOGLE pietro vanucci beppo rovito dating

"Uh-oh! Are Pietro Vanucci and boy toy Beppo on the rocks again?" | Mail Online

GOOGLE rates of violence amongst same-sex couples

GOOGLE rates of violence amongst boyfriends

GOOGLE how to tell if someone is your boyfriend

When does a "date" become your "boyfriend?" – Boston Dating | Examiner

GOOGLE how to tell someone you are attracted to them

50 Ways To Tell Someone You Like Them (Without Just Telling Them): glamour magazine

GOOGLE why magazine articles are written for sciolistic nitwits

* * *

**S Holmes:** John.

**S Holmes:** John.

**S Holmes:** JOHN.

**J Watson:** WHAT?

**J Watson:** I'm sitting literally three feet from you, Sherlock. You don't have to bloody IM me.

**S Holmes:** Irrelevant.

**S Holmes:** I need you to interview Horace Harker, the art lecturer from the university.

**J Watson:** Fine.

**S Holmes:** You'll need to be in costume.

**J Watson:** No.

**S Holmes:** Be sensible, John. No one in their right mind will listen to a man wearing a jumper.

**J Watson:** What's wrong with my jumper?!

**S Holmes:** You can pretend you're the curator from the Hickman.

**J Watson:** I hate you.

* * *

From: MH  
To: SH  
Subject: Might we expect a happy announcement?  
_Attached: __uniSecurityCam01.8 .Vid_

_It appears that your client, Sally Barnicot, caught up with a certain army doctor after you sent him on your errand._

From: SH  
To: MH  
Subject: RE: Might we expect a happy announcement?  
_Attached: ____uniSecurityCam01.8 .Vid_

_EITHER EXPLAIN YOUR MEANING OR BUGGER OFF, MYCROFT._

From: MH  
To: SH  
Subject: Tsk-tsk.

_Temper, Sherlock. I am simply pointing out that your John is scarcely disagreeable. Some sorry female might even marry him if you're not attentive._

_Have you two even discussed the – how shall I put this? – "incident" at the hospital?_

From: SH  
To: MH  
Subject: Don't you have a developing nation to overthrow?

_John's not going anywhere._

_Unlike your trouser size._

From: SH  
To: MH  
Subject: Hypothetically speaking –

_How would one… initiate such a conversation?_

* * *

Message received  
From: John W.

_Just spoke with Professor Harker – Pietro made six pottery figures of Maggie Thatcher before he died. All sold._

Message sent  
To: John W.

_Names? SH_

Message received  
From: John W.

_Lucretia Venucci, sister; Morse Hudson; Josiah Brown; Harry Sandeford; Oliver Gelder_

Message received  
From: John W.

_And Sally, of course._

Message sent  
To: John W.

_Four of whom have had the busts stolen. SH_

Message received  
From: John W.

_How did you know?_

Message sent  
To: John W.

_Locate the addresses of the remaining two. We'll survey their residences this evening. SH_

Message sent  
To: John W.

_You look nice today, BTW. SH_

Message sent  
To: John W.

_That color really suits you. SH_

Message received  
From: John W.

_OK, what did you destroy?_

Message sent  
To: John W.

_Can't a man compliment his blogger? SH_

Message received  
From: John W.

_TELL ME._

Message sent  
To: John W.

_Your socks. SH_

Message sent  
To: John W.

_I needed them for an experiment. SH_

Message received  
From: John W.

_YOU DESTROYED ALL OF MY SOCKS?!_

Message sent  
To: John W.

_Don't be ridiculous, John. SH_

Message sent  
To: John W.

_Only the left ones. SH_

* * *

Search History/Recently Visited:

GOOGLE oliver gelder london address

Oliver Gelder | Gelder & Co. | LinkedIn

GOOGLE morse hudson london address

GOOGLE morse hudson london facebook

Morse A. Hudson | Facebook

sally barnicot Profiles | Facebook

Sally Should-Be-Studying-LOL Barnicot | Facebook

GOOGLE how to get over a crush on your flatmate

How To Cope With Romantic Feelings For Your Roommate: 9 Steps – wikiHow

How to Get Over a Crush: Ten Sensible Tips – Yahoo! Voices – Yahoo

GOOGLE unrequited love help

Unrequited Love and Lust | Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., M.P.H. | Psychology Today

* * *

**G Lestrade:** Sherlock just texted me – stakeout at Gelder & Co.?

**J Watson:** Yeah, he thinks there'll be another break-in tonight.

**G Lestrade:** I'll make sure a couple of the lads are nearby.

**J Watson:** Thanks, Greg. Appreciate it.

**J Watson:** Hey, Sherlock hasn't been… I dunno, acting strange with you lately?

**G Lestrade:** No stranger than usual. Why?

**J Watson:** No reason. Thanks again.

* * *

Message received  
From: Sherlock H.

_Are you there yet? SH_

Message sent  
To: Sherlock H.

_Yes._

Message received  
From: Sherlock H.

_Are you inside? SH_

Message sent  
To: Sherlock H.

_Hang on._

Message sent  
To: Sherlock H.

_Alright, I'm by the mantelpiece._

Message received  
From: Sherlock H.

_Keep me informed. SH_

Message sent  
To: Sherlock H.

_Seems pretty quiet…_

Message sent  
To: Sherlock H.

_Shit, I think that was a window breaking._

Message received  
From: Sherlock H.

_I've been contemplating that day at the hospital. SH_

Message sent  
To: Sherlock H.

_You're bringing this up now?!_

Message sent  
To: Sherlock H.

_Yep, there's definitely someone coming up the stairs._

Message received  
From: Sherlock H.

_We both know I am not the most sentimental of individuals. SH_

Message sent  
To: Sherlock H.

_Wait, does this guy have a gun?_

Message received  
From: Sherlock H.

_Frankly, the idea of becoming intimate with another person disgusts me. SH_

Message sent  
To: Sherlock H.

_IN RM TXT LESTRDE_

Message received  
From: Sherlock H.

_But with you, it isn't so… revolting. SH_

Message received  
From: Sherlock H.

_John. SH_

Message received  
From: Sherlock H.

_Are you even listening? SH_

Message received  
From: Sherlock H.

_JOHN! SH_

* * *

**BOFFIN SHERLOCK SOLVES THATCHER MURDER**

By ART DOYLE

**LONDON** – In a case that has transfixed many in the art world and beyond, Beppo Rovito was arrested Monday on the charge of first degree murder in connection to the death of his lover, rising sculptor Pietro Venucci.

Mr. Rovito, whose lawyer has refused to comment, was found Sunday night forcing entry into the offices of one Oliver Gelder, founder and CEO of Gelder & Co.

"After quarrelling, we believe Rovito stabbed Venucci, concealing the murder weapon in one of several Thatcher busts," Detective Inspector Gregory Lestrade stated during the press conference. "Once released, it seems he wanted to cover his tracks."

No word yet as to why confirmed bachelor John Watson was inside the building, but

[more after the jump]

* * *

From: MH  
To: SH  
Subject: It appears congratulations are in order.  
_Attached: __CCTVSecurityCam09.5 .Vid_

_In the future, do try and make use of a private venue. I'd prefer not to have to exercise my influence in acquitting you and John from charges of public indecency._

* * *

Search History/Recently Visited:

GOOGLE romantic getaway destinations

50 Best Romantic Getaways – Articles | Travel + Leisure

GOOGLE romantic getaway destinations that are not tediously stupid

GOOGLE dangerous getaway destinations

Most Dangerous Honeymoon Locations – AOL Travel Ideas

GOOGLE engagement rings unique

GOOGLE how to propose to your best friend


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